I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
