watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
