Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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