I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
