just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize