eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
