Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
