My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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