fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
as a side note pls kill me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
