dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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