biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I did not marry a roomba.
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