Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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