yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This house was built for laser tag.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
