In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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