playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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