I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
