Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
