oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
