she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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