You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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