did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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