I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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