I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
