We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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