the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
a search helicopter?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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