the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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