these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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