piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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