he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
