We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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