Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize