Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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