You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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