omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
