just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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