i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
