why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
