I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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