When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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