Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
