kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Congratulations! We have a period
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
