I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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