Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You need Xanax blowdarts
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
