No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
