yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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