I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My dick has a subreddit
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
