The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize