I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
