That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize