Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
