i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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