Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
