thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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