New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
