I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Randomize
