my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
