I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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