You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
