so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
