Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
