Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
