i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize