Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize