just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
