he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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