And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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