Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
