the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
