Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
