So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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